whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Randomize
