How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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