I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
