Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
