I wannas sexs uuuuu
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
