btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
