Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Actions speak louder than pants.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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