i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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