Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Im part way to drunk.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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