There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
