Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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