My boss' voice literally gives me gas
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
