I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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