12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
