the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
