how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
