Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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