Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
