You were right. It hurts to walk today.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
