Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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