dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
