I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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