Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
