ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
