Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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