I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
