i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
do herpes really smell.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
