Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
