I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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