i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I smell like Dick and happiness
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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