Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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