PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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