just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
