Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
