Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
