During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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