i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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