i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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