Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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