your parents love me but you hate me
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
