If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
