Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
