Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
