I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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