tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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