i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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