you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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