He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
