So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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