is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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