i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
sex in a hospital.. check
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
