Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she peed on how many people?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
