I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
