i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
