walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
