Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
